Something rare...

a photo of me that I actually like.

Random Verbage #36: the past week...

Well... it has been a while, hasn't it?
nearly two weeks in fact
so what have I been doing.. besides forgetting the concept of capitals?

most frequently I've been hanging about with a group of people who were being born right around the time I was starting high school. I know! Right? But mst of the time I don't give a shit. Hell, I generally forget the age difference and just enjoy the great company. ANd it is great company. I've met these fine people through Sk, who knows them through her younger sister. I go and watch them play netball once a week and then hang out with them afterwards. Usually at a local Maccas where I completely fail at the fast food concept by buying a little bag of apple slices and an OJ. Last week we had a blast. Actually got asked to be quiet by the staff... pfft to them I say! Super cool this week is that I get to play on one of the two teams that members of the group play on. "Him" plays on it sometimes too - but prolly not this week coz it's an earlier game and he has prior commitments to another team.

It was a fairly busy week last week.
Monday I went and visited Sk at work for a bit and scored a shite load of free breads and bakery goods. My freezer is now full of scones, bap rolls, bbq meat pizzas, loaves of bread...

Tuesday was the hang out with the whipper-snappers night

Wednesday I went and saw "Sunshine Cleaning" with Sk. Very very very good movie. A real "slice" of life sort of indie film with excellent performances all around. If you want a movie that doesn't spoon feed you every single drop of information and also entertains you, makes you think... go see this movie. Then in the afternoon I went and picked T up for netball training with most of the netball 'gang' - I love training. T is our 'coach' and he's a damn good one. Then I drove him back to the sports centre so he could umpire and play on another of his teams. Oh, and while I was hanging out with Sk I went to Jeanswest and tried on a pair of the jeans that I use as a visual/physical gauge of where I'm at in the weight loss/fitness thing. Anyway, back in May I had to buy size 18s (as some of you might recall) coz the size 20s were falling off. Well the size 18s are now falling down so I tried on a pair of size 16s... AND THEY FIT ME!

Thursday I did some work on the MA task and then that night went to see Ross Noble live with Sk and one of the netball crew, Ian. Damn me but Ross Noble is a funny (very weird and strange), funnnny guy. Laughed so hard my face hurt. Oh yeah... and I had a job interview for a teaching position. BUt as much as the interview went really well and I'm fairly positive (which is highly unusual for me) that I would have gotten the job, I did a pre-emptive turn down viz my recruiting agency. I just don't think it was the right job. INsane, right? IN the current economic environment? But for the amount of money and the amount of time... so not worth it.

Friday I had lunch in town with Sk and T - but I was a bit low spirited. During the day I found out I didn't get a library job I'd gone for and only missed ut on it by a little bit. Plus there are times when being around him are difficult... hard on the heart. I think I was also nervous about going Speed Dating that night. I wanted to give it another go to try and meet men who aren't him. It wasn't a good night.
None of the guys really sparked any major interest for me... and while I got three matches, I don't expect to hear from them as I nominated them for "friends" matches not date ones. But I don't know if there were no sparks purely because none of the guys appealed to me or because my head and heart are so full of him that I'm blind to anything else.
*sigh*
Stupid universe.
Anyway, after that I had Sc's farewell to get to... and that was even worse. Way too many people in a smallish space freaks me out and guess what I walked into? Sc knows alot of people! He was well drunk by the time I got there. His little sis and parents were there too. So I spent the time talking to them - mainly coz I didn't know anyone else there and I'm not great at talking to strangers in loud crowded situations. Which led to Sc's dad making some comments that upset me. Coz he doesn't think.
Long story, at the bass player's farewell a few weeks back G (their dad) had the video camera out and I spent most of the evening avoiding it. BUt he got footage of me at the food, getting a sausage in bread and apparently made some comment along the lines of "And here's MissE, feeding her face as usual" which I didn't hear but all you see is me see the camera and run away. So he keeps feeling like it's funny to tell people this story when he sees me. Great huh?
And then in a conversation with one of his nephews we were talking about how my folks are supporting me and how his kids don't want his money. I said that I don't exactly want my mum's money either but it's that or starve and his comment was "So, when's the starvation diet starting?" yeah... I felt really good.
SO I bugged out of there as soon as I could and eventually ended up at Sk's coz I just couldn't sit at home and be alone. She txted T and he came over too. We sat in Sk's room til 4am-ish, me curled up in the foetal position for a bulk of the evening. *sigh*

Saturday - me and Sk went to watch the home games for T's indoor netball club. love watching netball. seriously. plus it means we get to hang out with his mum for a couple of hours and she's awesome.

Sunday - worked on the MA task and then picked up Sk's sister to go to our netball game. We ended up playing two games back-to-back and we won both of them! Two games! One after the other! and we really dominated the game... mind you, both teams are below us on the ladder and when we play the teams above us they smash us. So it all evens out. Oh and I went for a walk/jog in the morning... so my poor body got seriously worked over yesterday!

But all the exercise is paying off coz I weighed myself today after going for another walk/jog and I'm at 104kg! So that's another 1.5kg off in two or so weeks. Yay me! Bring on 100kg! I worked it out the other day - since just before October 2006 I've gotten rid of 22kg. And given that I think I was well over 130kg at the start of that year... I've actually gotten rid of more than that.

Anyway, better go do some writing and stop looking at the Chat panel of my Facebook where I can see T's name and the little grey half circle that means he's around somewhere but not "there"... like last night where me and Sk sat on our respective msn's chatting and staring at the T (Away) wishing it would change to (Available)... in so many more ways than one.

Okay - really going now... dragging my pathetic arse off to write creatively.

later

INVASION!!!

I swear it was HUGE!!!
At least 10cm - lurking under the lid of the bin.
I confess... I squealed.

Update on the ouchy...

The swollen middle finger... I don't exactly have skinny fingers but this poor little thing is looking like a stuffed sausage.

The bruise seems to have gone down a bit since this morning... prolly should re-tape it. But it was feeling sore in the tape. :o(

Mind you it feels sore regardless. I think the poor middle joint got seriously whacked by the downward pressure from the ball yesterday.

MissE's got an ouchy...

The perils of playing netball...
My poor middle finger copped it but good at netball today.
And not even during the game.
This happened when we were practising before.
Ad and I both went for a ball and somehow I caught the full force of it onto my finger - and then played the game with out worrying about it.
Well, when we all went to sit down afterwards I noticed that the finger was hurting and then realised that it was swelling up. (It's kind of hard to tell with my fingers sometimes... they're not exactly small.)
So on the way home tonight I bought some tape at the Chemists.
The look on the face of the girl behind the counter when she saw it was classic!
She was horrified.
If it's still this sore tomorrow, I'll try to get a doctor's appointment. I don't fancy my chances though.
I'm fine... so long as I don't try to straighten it.
And it's making typing... fun.

I love playing netball.
And Mixed Indoor is AWESOME!
We won today - 33 to 8!
That's our third win so far.
Yay us!
I love our team.
The fact that T and Sk play on it? BONUS!

later

Rest in Peace, Mr Eddings.

Well, that's another creator of wonderful fantasy realms gone off to the next one.
I still remember when A and the uni/jump-point gang gave me the entire Belgariad for my birthday and followed it up with the Mallorean for Christmas.
Eddings' stuff may be more simple fare in some ways than that of Tolkien or Jordan or Feist... but it is great fun to read.

Him.

Tuesday night.
After netball.
Sk stole my camera. ;oP
T and I are not holding hands... he's restraining me from running away from the camera.
It was a ... strange night.

I ended up walking out on them and driving home upset because they'd teamed up in teasing me about some stuff that after a couple of jokes became too much to cope with and I couldn't work out how to tell them. There was nothing malicious on their part. And they were five minutes behind me when I got home. Literally. I walked in the door, collapsed in a heap on the floor and five minutes later they were there. I let them in. T pretty much took one look at me and just pulled me into a hug. A long long long hug. God, I could stay in his hugs forever. But I was shaking like a leaf. Couldn't stop for ages.

Good news is that we're all okay now. I really love these two.

Update: Added another photo - this time from the ones that Sk took with her mobile. I actually quite like me in this one. Except for that damn double chin. ;oP

Cooking with MissE

Made dinner for the folks tonight.
Tried to make this recipe.

Unfortunately, I only realised after I'd already added it to the sauce, that the sweet chili sauce had garlic in it. And I can't eat garlic anymore. :o(

And then when Mum started eating it she discovered that it was too chili for her to eat. So double :o(

But Dad enjoyed it. And he's got lots of leftovers to have for lunch tomorrow and prolly even Thursday.

Step 3 required me to 'fry' the chicken pieces. I'm not good with frying. Putting things is all that oil makes me queasy. So I prolly didn't use enough oil... and things stuck to the pan. All of this is what I scraped off the bottom of the pan after I'd taken the chicken out. Ewwww. And then my Dad came in the kitchen and ate most of it! He is so bad about that sort of stuff. I can't help but worry about his health. He really does need to lose weight. But it's not my place to tell him. :o(

This is what the first half of step four in the recipe looked like...


And here is the final product as served to the parents. (I ended up eating rice and vegies no chicken for MissE.)

I have no ability to perceive myself objectively... but then who the hell does?

So I got my hair tidied up and styled today. Mainly coz I'm off to a farewell bash for the bass player in around 15 minutes. But also coz I have a job interview on Tuesday and the hair was starting to look all medusa-y again.

And, as per usual, when confronted with my wild mess of hair, the hairdresser succumbed to the deep need to straighten and bring order to the fuzz.
I present: my straight hair (again.) But a night out at the bass player's place... where the girl who screwed him will also be... needed a new cool casual look. So I took some of that nice Mr Rudd's money and spended it on new tops!!! So tonight I'm rocking the layered look... with my "boyfriend" cut jeans and my boots. The jeans rock coz they're a style I couldn't even get into last year. And now I can and I think they look pretty damn sweet. I'll be honest and say that I still have a hard tome looking at photos of myself. And part of me looks at this next one and just thinks "fat arse" but at the same time, I know that I am not the same size as I was this time last year. I know I'm smaller. According to the scales in mum's bathroom I'm down to 107kg. Which is cool. And I'm still aiming for the 100 by Christmas.

Anyway... here's me in tonight's outfit:


What do you think? Will people be impressed? Will the bass player have just a moment of regret over opportunities missed? Will that girl have a moment of "wow... she really is a threat to me?" And is it wrong that I'm going with that as my partial motivation?
Coz I'm not evil... not one little bit... really.... I swear... see? No horns here. ;o)

Random Verbage #35

Sometimes I think my head might explode from the amount of thinking that goes on in there.

I am occasionally disturbed by the dark nature of some of the stories that I write or that I have in my head to write.

I don't want to teach full time again. Ever. Or at least not for an unbelievably long time.

Relief teaching in private systems of education is a pretty cruisy way to earn money. That said - only having gotten 6 days of work so far this year kinda sucks.

I hangout late on MSN just waiting for him to appear online. And then I stay up late chatting with him and the third member of our little group. I don't mind sharing him with her. But I wish he would come over one more time. Sit on my couch with me again. But I don't think that will happen again.

I've applied for a library job. I'm hoping a) it is a cool as it sounds in the ad and b) that I get an interview at least... and the job at best.

I need to knuckle down and do some serious writing - the MA task is due at the end of June.

I love the feeling of his fingers when he tickles my side.

I'm down to around 107kg.

I'm fitting into size 18 clothes from ordinary clothing sections, instead of the specialty "big-girls" shops.

I'm playing netball on the weekends with him and S (our third). I love S. She is an awesome friend. We get along so well. And we can talk about him together. She's much closer to his age than me. The three of us have so much fun together. I'd be okay if he wanted to date her.

Do you think anyone has pointed out to Bega cheese that their logo makes it look like they spell their name B E Q A?

I'm really bummed that I won't be able to be at the party for my fave uncle's 70th birthday next month. But it is just too expensive to get there and to find somewhere to put Bart for the 4-5 days I'd be away. And my fave cousin is over from the UK and everything. :o(

I had some cheese (Castello White - yummmmmmm) on biscuits half an hour ago... which means I need to stay up for another hour and a half to ensure digestion happens or something like that. And i should really have my Yakult stuff now too.

I might be going to see "The Phantom of the Opera" next week with the singer from the Fringe production band. He and I are having coffee tomorrow to see if we can get tickets.

I got to play a game of netball Tuesday night. I'd gone along to watch S's team play and then her sister B's team. But the opposing team for B's team forfeited and so they decided to play a 'friendly' game against S's team instead. And I got to play. In jeans. And totally the wrong bra for sport. I played three of the four quarters. I love netball. I love playing it when the people on the court are serious about it but also able to have fun at the same time. I can't stand playing with people who are so focused on the win that they forget that games should be fun too.

This weekend S and I are going to go watch him play in the men's team competition. I'm really looking forward to it for three reasons - 1) hang out with S, 2) watch him play (he looks ever so good on court - he's got very very very very nice legs) and 3) I get to see fourteen guys play netball.

Have been having the really unhappy realisation lately that the fourth member of our little group is bringing us down and throwing a big old wet blanket on our get togethers. Thankfully, I have S to talk to about this stuff. So I know it isn't just me. I'm not going mad.

My heart leaps just a little when I see his name pop up on my MSN alert.

My heart leaps a lot when I see him.

And I know that it is all in vain. But still. My heart leaps. My stomach flips. And I can dream.