so it's been forever hasn't it?
What can I say?
I've been a busy girl. ;o)
It's been a rather full month and a biut since I last sat down to really try and bring my loyal followers (all two of you... well, the two official ones - you know who you are... loves and kisses to you both) up-to-date.
Right. So what has been going on, I hear you wonder... well, here's some random verbage to bring you into the know.
* As alluded to in an earlier post, I'm no longer a tea-totaller. Don't get me wrong... I'm not a piss pot by any stretch of the imagination... but I am no longer able to say "I don't drink alcohol" without it being a dirty dirty dirty lie. Back in April I had a little bit of vodka with Ty, Sk and J after the opening night of the show from hell but it really wasn't anything. BUT... then there was Sk and her sister, B's get together in mid-July...
* On my little sis' advice I went with the Absolut Vanila Vodka with Sprite on ice... and it was ever so nice. And I got ever so happy... not really what I would call drunk. Just very very buzzed and highly entertained by everything. Much to the amusement of the gathered 20-somethings... apparently I am a very 'charming' inebriated person, I tell people I love them with total sincerity, and I laugh at everything. And then there's the fact that it (alcohol) does tend to lower my barriers more than a little. No, no, don't panic, folks. Nothing that serious. But I did end up curled up on the couch, curled up on El... one of the 20 year olds I've met through the netball gang. He was such a sweetie. Wrapped his arm around me. A real gentleman. Of course, all his mates thought it was very interesting... one of them apparently even wondered if El and I were going to "hook" up... another has since commented that they don't know that El would even know what to do. But meh to that. He was kind to the 'old' lady at the party and I appreciated it.
* But he's not Ty. And try as I might... I can't shake that man out of my head.
* A couple of weeks after the party, Sk and I ended up out at Ty's to sit with him while he got really drunk after one of his best mates from netball hooked up with the girl Ty's had a crush on for near-on 2 years... even though he knew how Ty felt about her. I've never seen Ty so heartbroken. And a week (I think) after that... Sk, her sister, and I went around to Ty's again. This time, I drank with Ty and Br (Sk was our designated Dave)... and I drank way too fast... and yes, I ended up with my head over the toilet at Ty's place for two or more hours. Oh the embarrassment. Ty's mum saw me and everything. I was sooo miserable. And Ty and Sk were so good to me. Don't get me wrong. They thought it was hilarious... and it was ...but they were also so caring and kind. When Sk left to take Br home, Ty sat with me by the toilet (I refused to leave the toilet, no matter how much they asked, no matter how cold I was - it was teh only thing I wouldn't do for Ty... until he managed to make me do it, to get into Sk's car... he walked me the whole way... and I know I said some stuff to him that I would reallllly like to remember), rubbed my back as I vomited, got a hair-elastic to hold my hair back (and put it in my hair cos I couldn't coordinate myself to do it), and let me lean on him. And when Sk came back, she took over the caring for me bit... (and there are things she's going to be taking to the grave... well, to my grave, cos she's got permission to tell the story when I'm dead.) Ty kept making me drink water, taking away the bottle to refill it every time I emptied it, no matter how much I protested. I can't believe I let myself get that drunk that quick. It was ridiculous. *sigh* But hey - if you're gonna jump back into drinking with friends... you might as well get the puking part out of the way nice and early and in the company of good mates who will look after you... and laugh with you.
* Honestly... I think that I would do pretty much anything that Ty asked me to do. *sigh* How did that happen?
* Things have been... interesting, I guess is the right word for it. I finished the MA in late July, graduated in early August. And I'm a bit disappointed by the final result... I mean, yeah, sure I got over 70 (just) but the comments were a bit... :o( But as Ty pointed out, you're not a real author until you've got at least 15 rejection letters on your desk. ;o) Gotta love the guy. I'm not giving up. I just need to get on track, and get writing. Besides, everything that the markers said about my work, wasn't anything I haven't had Ty and Sk say already... it's just I thought I'd dealt with it. But hey - I've got two awesome editors all of my very own. ;oP
* With the MA over I had that moment of "Oh god... what now?" and have ended up in a Grad Dip Library and Info Management. Thank god for my awesome parents... I'm applying for retail jobs like crazy but no joy so far and I can't do teaching and this study... it just won't work... so my parents are supporting me. There are moments when that is wonderful and then there are the ones when it sucks something awful. Don't get me wrong - my folks are wonderful people. But they are unbelievably gifted at making you feel really bad about something that they've just told you not to feel bad about. And neither of them know what to do with me sometimes - I'm all emotions and empathy and they are both all control and 'get-over-it'.
* After Graduation, Ty and Sk came back to my place and the three of us proceeded to get very very very very 'happy' ... Sk had her gin and tonic, Ty and I split a bottle of ... Vanila Vodka. Yes... a whole bottle. Between the two of us. Okay, Sk had a couple of shots too... but for the most part it was me and Ty. And things got... interesting. Very flirty. Very ... what my mate Bec calls 'highschool'. She reckons I'm having all the fun of my late teens/early 20s that I didn't have at the actual time. But there were a couple of moments where Ty made my heart leap and pound. One of the best lines of the night was when he and I were sitting, staring at each other and he said, "We're both far too sober to be staring into each other's eyes like this." And we were... even after the large amount of alcohol. We were both pretty sober and the stare had some serious weight to it... if I had just a little more courage? daring? fearlessness? I think I would have crossed the short space between us in a heartbeat. But I didn't. And Sk was sitting right there. And regardless of what she and I have discussed about Ty and the fact that we both like him... there are things you just don't do.
* Mind you - he did kiss me at one point in the evening. Nothing serious. Closed lips. But it took me by surprise. And it's hard to explain how it happened. Because out of the context of the evening, without the atmosphere of the moment... it just fails to translate. But it was a fun night. We played a board game called "Dirty Minds" - which really isn't as cool as it sounds. We had a big old geek-fest and played "Hero Quest" - you should have seen the light in Ty's eyes and the smile on his face when I brought it up. We also played a bunch of card games and just sat around and talked and laughed.
* There have been many netball games since I last wrote. And we've lost some. And won some. Most importantly, the Sunday indoor team won our "grand final" for last season... and we don't care that it was us (ranked 5th) against the team that won the game between 6th and 7th. What matters is that we had a really fun time and that ... we got awesome socks!
* Mind you, you should have seen the team that we played against in the "preliminary" final - talk about poor bloody sports. We'd played them the previous week, initially we only had 6 on court cos Ty was running late and so the opposition were beating us pretty well. But then for the second half we had Ty and his awesome netball skills and we ended up beating them. They didn't take it well then. So the following week, when we stepped onto court with Ty from the get go... well, you can imagine, right? They were such a physically aggressive team. I thought the GS in the first quarter was going to kill me. And then the GA in the third quarter nearly took my face off with the ball at one point. Their centre got sent off for mouthing off to the umpire. They were convinced that Al was totally biased to us because he and Ty happen to be mates. Which is total shit cos the number of times Al's called against us is HUGE! but the poor sports were looking for any excuse to bitch about why they were getting beaten by us. Don't think they'll be back this season.
* I'm loving netball. Love it even though we get beaten pretty much ever Tuesday night and are at about 50/50 on our Sundays. And I love training on Wednesdays. Ty runs us through the drills he's picked up over the years, or learned that week from his state or uni teams. :oP Mind you, poor old Sk... she's gone and fractured her wrist and is now all fiberglass cast-bearing for four weeks. How did she manage that? Running backwards in a training drill last Wednesday. *sigh* Poor girl. No netball. No work. Nada. For four weeks. That sucks.
* Things haven't been all sunshine and puppies though.
* A few of weeks back, I got a message through Facebook from an ex-student to let me know that his mum, who's been battling cancer (in her spine initially) for the past 2 and a half years, had been diagnosed with brain cancer and given at most six weeks to live. How shit is that? I was gutted for the family. I know them pretty well. Taught the oldest and all three were in my House group. I worked with their dad. And their mum... such a cool woman. And so J, the oldest gives me their home number and says "Dad'll be home tonight if you want to call." What do you do? Well, if you're me... you call. You talk to S (the dad) for a while and then, when he puts his wife on, and you can hear just how far gone she is, you talk to her and hold back the tears and try to think of what you can say that doesn't sound trite and meaningless. Language can be really useless sometimes, you know?
*Sk and Ty took me driving that night. We went up to the Eagle on the Hill lookout and I screamed and then Ty held me while I cried and Sk stroked my head. They're amazing. I'm pretty damn lucky, I reckon. Cos then we drove back to Ty's and sat out in Sk's car and Ty got us laughing and just messing about, shaking me out of my grief as best he knew how. For 22... he's unbelievably wise.
* But the hits kept coming. A former co-worker contacted me through Facebook (gotta love the way it puts you in touch, right?) to ask me to call him. So I did. And turns out that an ex-student has just revealed that they were sexually molested by another member of staff. I was so angry. So horrified. So not entirely surprised... and that's the worst part of it. I've met with the student. I've spent over an hour ont he phone to the Child Abuse hotline people seeking help/advice. I've had to call the Sexual Crimes Investigation Bureau. All because DOCS in WA were saying "Oh, the complaint needs to be filed where ever the child/complainant is now..." Thus my involvement.
* Skye and I went driving that night.
* And two weeks back - the wonderful mum died. Leaving behind three great sons and a pretty fab husband. And a hole in the world. Ty came over. Sat with me. And just talked for three hours or more. He really gives the most amazing hugs. I feel utterly safe in his arms. I couldn't cry that night. Couldn't get the tears to flow. But he just talked to me until I was calm. I don't know why it is, but he can calm me better than anyone I know, he can make me laugh, he can frustrate the shit out of me, he amazes me, he intrigues me, he comforts me, he pushes me, he makes me want to be a better person... I'm so fucked.
* Honestly, if it isn't him... then I want to know who it is... because ... the bar is so set now. And if there is no one... then I don't care.
* As shown by the previous posts - I've been having some fairly social weekends of late - nights out with the gang. It's been fun. Last night was a good one too - spent the day and evening at netball with Sk, and Ty's mum, V, watching Grand Finals. And then we (me and Sk) were meant to be going bowling... 'cept her sister forgot to book us an actual lane... mwhahaha. So we three and the three guys (I, Ad and Ca) all ended up back at the girls' place to play a card game called "Barthog" and then Boggle. With drinks. It was ... fun. I suck at Boggle. Almost as much as I suck at Lexulous (online sort of scrabble) - where Ty kicks my arse on a regular occasion.
* Alrighty - I think that's most things... and I've a netball game to get to! So I shall love you and leave you, my fabulous folk.
Later
